Archive for the 'Recap' Category

25
Nov
12

whoops.

By Uncle Crappy 3 Comments
Categories: Recap
Tags: ,

I can think of at least three posts related to Saturday’s Michigan game, but we’re going to start with the one that will make this year’s edition memorable for me forever. We’ll get to the other stuff tomorrow.

These? These are important.

It could have been the lack of sleep. It might have been the altered schedule. It could have been the heroic amount of alcohol I had the night before.

But for whatever the reason, I was a bit off my game on Saturday. The tailgate party was a good one — except for the part about Suzette setting the sleeve of her coat on fire on the propane heater (Suzette was fine, her coat was not) — but I was struggling to hold it together from the time my alarm went off at 4:50 a.m. Saturday morning.

The early start was my idea, and we were in the lot close to 7:30, which had been my goal. And almost as quickly as we got set up, it was apparent that the day would be a struggle for me. Two examples:

  • It quickly became clear that the temperature was going to be cold enough that keeping my feet warm during the day would be a problem, even with the shiny, new propane heater. Did I bring my Sorels to Columbus? Nope, just my game Chucks and a couple pairs of socks.
  • What should have been a fairly simple cooking morning turned into a hassle. We had pancakes, and they should have been easy; Crappydad, as he does, had these well planned (instant batter, already mixed in the bottles; syrup warming in a pot of water on the stove). Fred had a pot in which to heat his delicious maple sausage. Mrs. Crappy and I had pre-cooked some bacon, which only needed to be heated in the morning. But: Our Coleman griddle wouldn’t stay lit. One bottle of gas for the Coleman stoves wouldn’t screw into anything but the non-functioning griddle. And because I didn’t bring our table from Pittsburgh, I was stuck making pancakes with our stove sitting on the grass outside Campbell Hall.

Frustrating things both, but neither one would have been enough to kill the day. Everyone ate, and seemed pleased with the food, and those little hand-warmer things took care of my feet all day.

One thing did work well. I wanted to start early — and finish early — to give my folks plenty of time to walk to the stadium. Michigan pregame stuff — senior day, Script (a special one this weekend, as a neighbor of my parents, Jocelyn Smallwood, was making history as the i-dotter), getting to hate on The Victors right there in front of me — is not to be missed. We did the toast, sent my folks on their way, and began packing up so the rest of us could head inside.

Truck is packed. I’m organizing the stuff I always take inside. And I am hit with a stunning, crushing realization.

I have no tickets.

—-

Two things.

  • I have a velcro Ohio State wallet that I take into games. I pack it in my sister’s old bedroom before each home game: driver’s license, my debit card, whatever cash I have … and the tickets. On Saturday morning, though, I couldn’t find the wallet. It wasn’t in with my tailgating stuff because I had taken it out the weekend before when we came to Columbus to watch the Wisconsin game with Matlock and the Coochie Doctor, and I hadn’t put it back. I am certain that if I had gone through that part of my preparation before we left the house, I would have remembered the tickets. But I was in a hurry, I couldn’t find the damn wallet, and didn’t think about that other, fairly important step.
  • It is almost like clockwork. As we pull down the driveway, someone — usually my mother — asks if everyone has the tickets. On Saturday, no one did. I have no idea why.

—-

OK. It’s about 11:15. Game time is listed at noon, but with all the extra stuff, will probably actually start around 12:10. I have to get back to my folks’ house. Right now.

But I am immediately presented with problems (and, fortunately, solutions):

  • My dad has the truck keys. But there’s always an extra set inside, and I can get in with the keypad on the door.
  • OK, I have the extra keys. But they don’t have a key to the lock Crappydad uses to lock the bike rack (he usually rides from where we park to the stadium, because it’s easier on his legs) to the truck. Miracle: He forgot to lock the rack to the truck on Saturday.

Once in the car and headed back towards Upper Arlington, I start thinking about the other things that could go wrong. I’m reasonably sure I won’t have trouble getting off campus — and I didn’t, reaching 315 south from the ramp by the OSU Medical Center without hardly stopping — but I have no idea if I’m going to be able to get anywhere close when I return.

But first, I’m concerned only with getting back to the house as quickly as possible. Our path home has been set for years, because while it’s slightly out of the way, it almost always keeps us out of football traffic after games; that ramp takes us to 315 south, which we follow to 670 west, the Dublin Road (Route 33) exit and that pretty much straight to my parents’ home.

And let me tell you, boys and girls: without revealing any incriminating details, I made that 10.3-mile drive in record time.

I got into the house without setting off the security alarm — given the way my day had gone to that point, it wouldn’t have surprised me a bit to screw that up too — grabbed the tickets and jumped back in the truck, all while saying a prayer to whatever Greater Being that might be paying attention that I could get reasonably close to campus after the trip back — and not get caught in any traffic.

McCoy Road? No problem, but I’m still miles away. Kenny? Nothing. I turned on to Woody Hayes Drive, and see signs that say “Parking passes only”: I’m expecting to get turned away before I get to Herrick … but no, I can make the right turn with no trouble. I’m panicking as I pass the cars parked along Herrick … but still no traffic.

I’m thinking the light at Herrick and Cannon is the point of no return; if I make it past there, I’m going to be OK. I’m probably the only vehicle the cops standing at that intersection have seen for a while; they look, but they don’t stop me. I turn left at the Neil Avenue Garage, wondering if I’m going to have to sweet talk the parking attendants to get back into our lot … and they’re not there.

In fact, the only people I see in the lot are Mrs. Crappy and Ann, Fred and Ethel’s awesome sister-in-law, who stayed with Mrs. Crappy while she waited on me; they were having enough fun, in fact, that they sent me ahead (once Mrs. Crappy secured her ticket in her hand) to the stadium.

I was just outside our gate when I heard the unmistakable roar that comes with an Ohio State touchdown. I had missed a bunch of stuff I wait all year to see — it especially killed me to miss Jocelyn’s Script — but my monumental mistake had cost us just one touchdown and only a few minutes of the game. I was panting when I reached our seats in 14C, but I took a healthy swallow from the flask I had shoved in my pants on the way inside, took a deep breath, and stood to cheer my Buckeye defense.

I needed breaks. I got them. And, via a circuitous, harrowing route, I made it home for the Michigan game.

A favor: If we text, tweet or follow each other on Facebook, set an alarm for 7 a.m. on Saturday, Nov. 29. When that alarm goes off, by whatever means you have available, send me the following message: “Hey, dumbass — do you have your tickets?”

02
Nov
12

click. click. boom.

By Uncle Crappy Leave a Comment
Categories: Football and Recap
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The song above is apparently a staple at Beaver Stadium; we heard snippets of it several times during Saturday’s game.

It’s also a pretty apt analogy for the game itself, especially if we’re talking about Ohio State.

First quarter: Click.

Second quarter: Click.

Second half: BOOM.

Here’s what I saw:

  • In the first half, Braxton Miller continued to look like he was trying too hard to not run; yes, we’re all concerned about his health — and we were all terrified last weekend against Purdue — but I think he can swing too far in the other direction. He’s a better passer than his predecessor, but he’s not a drop-back quarterback and his running game must be part of his offense.
  • But when he did run? Somewhere between being scraped off the field against Purdue and the start of the Penn State game, Braxton learned A) how to slide and B) where the sideline is.
  • And when he has room to run, he is magic.
  • I do not understand the special teams breakdowns. Ohio State — and special teams coordinator Urban Meyer — has been lucky that one of them hasn’t cost us a game so far this season. Against Wisconsin, or Michigan — or even against Illinois — it could.
  • The touchdown Ohio State gave up on the blocked punt was balanced out by Adam Griffin’s play to break up Penn State’s fake punt. Outstanding.
  • Does anyone else think Rod Smith looks a lot like Eddie George did in his first season or two? Big, physical, deceptively fast long stride? Even the occasional fumble?
  • We heard a lot of grumbling about penalties from those wearing white in Beaver Stadium. Penn State gave up 85 yards on nine penalties. Ohio State gave up 75 yards on seven. Hm.
  • To save the best for last: Saturday’s game against Penn State was easily Ohio State’s best defensive effort of the season. One stat: Penn State had 32 yards rushing on 28 attempts. That’s a good day.
30
Oct
12

road trip.

By Uncle Crappy Leave a Comment
Categories: Recap
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Let’s see: I’ve been to games at Purdue. Indiana. Pitt, in buildings old and new. Miami (the one in Ohio). Michigan State. Cleveland Browns Stadium. And two miserable visits to The Big Hole in Ann Arbor.

With the exception of those two visits to AA, I’ve always enjoyed my college football trips.

But I can’t imagine what it would take to have a better trip than the one Mrs. Crappy and I took to State College on Saturday.

Our friends Kelly and John got themselves their first season ticket package at their alma mater earlier this year, and they immediately offered their extra two tickets to the Ohio State game to us. That’s not an offer we would turn down.

The plan: Head out to State College early — early — Saturday morning, see the town, eat, visit a couple tailgate parties, have our own, watch the game and catch some rest at a cheap motel in Altoona before heading home to Pittsburgh.

How’d we do? Here’s a look:

We got out of the car in our parking lot, looked to the south — and there is Beaver Stadium. Let me be clear about this: one of the things I was most excited about was sitting in this building during a white out. It’s always been one of the most impressive — and intimidating; just ask the 2005 Buckeyes who lost during a Beaver Stadium white out — displays of college football fandom I’d ever see on television, and I couldn’t wait to see it in person.

After a quick stop to see one of Kelly’s old professors, we headed to another lot to see Lauren — and The Bus. A friend of Lauren’s bought the old team bus on eBay — the first such retired bus to be sold that way by Penn State — and turned it into a tailgating machine.

They pay attention to every detail.

We were there early enough that the Blue Bus crew was just getting started. But even in the morning, the spread was impressive.

One of the stops on our campus tour was the Millennium Science Complex, a stunning L-shaped set of buildings joined by a triangular cantilevered roof, covering a courtyard. Penn State’s campus is dense and compact, especially for a school of its size, more like OU than Ohio State, but while it doesn’t feel crowded, the courtyard is a beautiful oasis in the middle campus.

The aforementioned courtyard. See?

We walked downtown to look for some Penn State gear — uh, for Kelly and John — and get some lunch at the Corner Room, which had this sign posted outside. The point? Everyone was nice. The entire day, I heard just one muttered shitty comment, from a student who was drunk enough at lunchtime that he was going to be passed out before the game started. Over and over, we were welcomed to Happy Valley by people who seemed genuinely happy we were there. We heard plenty of comments about the upcoming game, but all were good-natured, and once we set up our own tailgate party, we chatted with a guy from Pittsburgh that Kelly had met before a local half marathon. Old college football games, the Browns-Steelers rivalry (back when it was a rivalry) — great stuff to get in the right frame of mind for the game.

We walked back towards the lots, which were filling rapidly. Had some beer, some of the snacks that Mrs. Crappy brought along and an amazing beer-bratwurst-cheese soup Kelly had prepared. I’m hoping she’s going to get together a guest post about that soon, because it was too good not to share (a note — if you had the soup we made for last year’s Michigan game, you’ve had one of Kelly’s recipes. Good stuff, right?)

As we walked around the stadium to our gate we passed the corner where I left a buckeye at the feet of the Joe Paterno statue days after he died in January. I was expecting to see a crowd there; I wasn’t expecting to see a person, in bronze makeup from head to toe, posing as the statue. Very cool.

Inside. Teams are warming up. And the student sections, directly across the field, were already full. The building doesn’t look especially big — I guess I’m used to the concrete on the banks of the Olentangy — but there are a lot of people in there … 107,000-plus on Saturday.

That’s us, with Kelly and John. The fun is about to begin.

Ohio Stadium is loud. And while there may have been games in Columbus that were close — USC in 2009, Michigan in 2002 or 2006, or Penn State in 2002, which I still remember as one of the loudest games I’ve ever attended — I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything as loud as Saturday’s first half in Beaver Stadium.

And being in the middle of a white out is an awesome thing.

We’ll talk about the actual football in another post. Let’s say I was happy to be able to join in the postgame Carmen Ohio when it was over.

We were even close enough to see this.

We had an interesting night at our hotel in Altoona — I can’t say I’d recommend the Econolodge there for pretty much any reason — but we had an awesome breakfast at Tom and Joe’s Diner, a place Kelly found, before heading home.

It was a short trip, and a very long day — we were up at 4 and didn’t get to bed until late — and I wouldn’t change a thing. Kelly and John were great hosts, and I hope they don’t mind if I thank them one more time for a fantastic day. I hope we can return the favor in Columbus next season.

And. State College, you do it right. I hope we’ll be back soon.

—

I originally referred to the bus as one that took members of Penn State’s marching band to the stadium; Lauren pointed out that the bus was actually used to transport team members to Beaver Stadium. Sorry ’bout that.

 

21
Oct
12

eight.

By Uncle Crappy Leave a Comment
Categories: Recap and Yelling and Screaming
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One of my favorite moments of the Purdue game came after the comeback, after the overtime touchdown and after Christian Bryant successfully defended the Boilermakers’ fourth-down pass in the end zone. Mrs. Crappy and I watched the celebration and were still in our seats — actually, standing on our seats, I think — when the team assembled in front of OSUMB.

Most of the guys had already locked arms and started swaying, as they do when they sing the post-game “Carmen Ohio.” But as the noise of the crowd died down in the South Stands, a figure, in a white jacket, appeared in front of the team. It was Urban, doing one last pump-up job before the band did its thing.

You’ll see him briefly in front of the team; you get a better look if you’re watching the scoreboard.

I don’t have any doubt that the previous head coach had emotional moments like this; in fact, I remember seeing a couple in person in Tempe almost 10 years ago. But this is not something the previous head coach would have done, ever, and I have to say that I’m enjoying the hell out of watching the new head coach and the enthusiasm he wears on his sleeve.

19
Oct
12

seven.

By Uncle Crappy 2 Comments
Categories: Beverages, Food, Football and Recap
Tags: , , , ,

Hi. It’s been a while. Let’s get caught up, shall we?

  • By a narrow margin, we have decided that Ohio State plays in the Pork Division. Excellent decision, you guys.
  • Boy, the Nebraska game was fun. I didn’t feel like there were huge defensive lapses — in spite of Nebraska’s 38 points — and the offense … hooboy, the offense. The weather was gorgeous, the halftime show — that was the video game theme show, the one that went viral in the days that followed the game — and with the exception of Mrs. Crappy’s absence for illness, that was a great time all the way around.
  • Boy, the Nebraska tailgate was, uh, even funner. We had a huge crowd for the all-day party, and we had two excellent meals. Suzanne was the star of the lunchtime show; her Mexican tarts — known to Juan as “our special guests” — were delicious, and the corn I made to go alongside turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. For dinner, we went through about 18 pounds of the family sloppy joe mix. Everyone went above and beyond the call of duty in bringing along snacks and sides, and our other special guests — all part of Lovely Rita Meter Maid’s entourage — were awesome people to hang out with all afternoon.
  • We got home from the night game and finished unpacking around 2 a.m. Sunday. I love night games, but I’m glad they happen just once a year.
  • Recipes? We have recipes. Specifically, the recipes for Suzanne’s tarts and my corn will be coming soon.
  • Bud and Pat visited Pittsburgh for my birthday weekend, which meant we watched the Indiana game at home, accompanied by pizza from our favorite local place. That part was good; Ohio State’s defense was not. But I knew that might be the case when I saw a tweet from Tim May, who saw that Zach Boren was warming up with the linebackers. My folks went to bed with about five minutes left in the game, and joked about me coming to get them if Indiana came back. And they didn’t believe me when I told them the final score on Sunday morning.
  • If you’re ever looking for pizza on Pittsburgh’s North Side, look up Pizza Pescara. Seriously.
  • And now we’re in Columbus, watching the weather and eyeing an early bedtime, so we can be ready to do it all over again in the morning. It’s a little difficult to believe that there are just three more home games this season, but there you go … Purdue, Illinois and our bowl game for the season against the Team Up North. That’ll make for a good finish, boys and girls, even without postseason play — and it’s time to get ready for the 2012 Pork Division Championship.
23
Sep
12

to review.

By Uncle Crappy 2 Comments
Categories: Recap
Tags: , ,

Ohio State is undefeated. After the team’s four non-conference games, it is where I thought it would be.

In a wins-and-losses sense, anyway.

I haven’t, however, expected the struggles the team has dealt with, especially in Saturday’s game against the University of Alabama branch campus that doesn’t play football nearly as well as its big brother in Tuscaloosa. That’s been unsettling, to be sure.

But on the other hand: Just win. That mantra got me through some pretty good years — and one great one — in the last decade, and if I have to fall back on it again in 2012, that’s OK.

Before we launch the conference schedule — a thing that suddenly has much more importance than it did back in August — let’s take a look at what we’ve seen on the field so far.

The good.

Braxton Miller. In this young season so far, I’ve seen quarterbacks who throw better balls than Braxton Miller. I’ve seen some who are more consistent, and more polished. And there are some — even some in our own conference — that have received more hype than the Buckeyes’ sophomore. But I haven’t seen a quarterback — not a single one — so far this year who can take over a game like Braxton Miller. I’ve generally been pleased with the development of the team’s receivers, and the tailbacks are improving (see Rod Smith) and getting healthy (see Jordan Hall), but there is no question who the coaches turn to when they’re looking for something to happen. There isn’t anyone in the country I’d rather have as Ohio State’s quarterback right now, and just think about this, kids: He’s only going to get better.

Receivers. If you listened to Urban during spring practice, you heard this: “Receivers? We don’t have any.” Look now, though. Devin Smith. Corey Brown. Michael Thomas is starting to play. Jake Stoneburner looks good after the move from tight end. The backs are included in the passing game as well. This is not a polished group, to be sure, but they’re better than I thought we might see, based on Urban’s comments last spring.

Jordan Hall. He looked tentative against Cal. He looked less so against UAB. And while he has good guys behind him, there is no question that the guy from Jeannette, Pa., — you know, the one who chose to stick around — is the team’s best tailback. And Ohio State will get better with every game he plays.

The offense. It’s different … but it’s not. This isn’t the spread we typically think of; it’s still Ohio State, run-driven football. But I couldn’t begin to count the number of different formations we’ve seen, just four games in, and I have no idea how a defensive coordinator figures out where the ball is going next. Mix in the passing game — and some of those dink-and-dunk passes are going to start breaking for big gains once the timing between Miller and his receivers improves — and that’s a scary offense. I can’t wait.

Red zone. In a refreshing change from the past regime, when Ohio State gets there, it scores touchdowns. The Bucks have been inside the other team’s 20 17 times so far; they’ve come away with 14 touchdowns.

The bad.

Braxton Miller. After the season’s first two games, it was clear that Ohio State was relying too much on Miller; even in an offense that’s built around his talents, it’s probably not smart for him to be the fourth-leading rusher in the country, as he was after Miami and Central Florida. But it’s possible to go too far in the other direction as well. Against Cal, he looked like he was thinking too much about not running, and it led to sacks and some poor decisions. I don’t think this is a huge thing, and it seems to me that he’s got a better grasp of the offense than did his predecessor at the same point of his career. It’ll get better.

The defense. There is one specific, defense-related thing I’ll address in a second, but in general, the defense has seemed a little lifeless. In the first two games, that might have been by design. Fickell and Withers didn’t call many blitzes, and we didn’t do much to pressure the other quarterback. That’s picked up some, but the team is still giving up an embarrassing amount of yardage — UAB outgained Ohio State 403 to 347, for example — and that’s going to bite us in league play. However — I like what Coach Withers told the Dispatch’s Bill Rabinowitz after Saturday’s game:

Great point, coach.

The ugly.

Tackling. As in, there isn’t any. OK, that’s not quite true — I saw improvement against UAB … but I also saw a lot of blown tackles, a lot of soft defense on the outside and a lot of intended big hits — most of which turned into whiffs — that should have been wrap ‘em up and take ‘em down. This is a fundamental thing; my coaches at Hastings Junior High School preached it over and over and over, and I assume that most of these guys have already had a longer football career than my five seasons. The Big Ten isn’t looking especially solid this year, but it’s going to provide tougher, more physical games than we’ve seen in the first four. And Montee Ball and La’Veon Bell will crush a DB who thinks a shot with a shoulder pad is going to take him down. Time to get this fixed.

Penalties. Thirty one of them. Two hundred and sixty yards. Many of them of the after-the-whistle-hits or yapping-for-unsportsmanlike-conducts variety. Stop it. Now.

Special teams. I wouldn’t have included this had I written it a week ago, but the performance of Ohio State’s special teams against UAB were atrocious. Know who our special teams coordinator is? Urban Meyer. Coach? Let’s not let that happen again.

19
Sep
12

we punted.

By Uncle Crappy Leave a Comment
Categories: Recap and Recipes
Tags: , ,

Yes, we’re late. That’s mostly my fault, as a cold has kept me nailed to the couch for most of the week; Mrs. Crappy did her part, filing this on Monday. Whoops. As always, my comments are in italics. -UC

Week three of the 2012 season found the Buckeyes on a beautiful Saturday playing not-so-beautiful game against the California University at Berkley, who came very, very close to winning, but I’ll leave the game analysis to Uncle Crappy.

Just win, baby.

As for the food analysis, Sept. 15 proved to be an odd day, as the Crappy parents were out of town all week and I had to work late Friday. So early on in the week, we decided to let someone else do the cooking, an option that most of our tailgaters picked as well.

By Friday, we had a count of 15 for the party (very glad to have Aunt Mary up and around again!), so Uncle Crappy had to up our takeout order from City BBQ in Columbus with their “Pig Up and Go” party packages. Our preferred location is on Henderson Road and you can check out the menu here. We got the BP7, which includes, 5 pounds of meat, two 2 1/2 quart sides, sauce and buns. Pulled pork, beef brisket, cole salw and baked beans were the fixings we picked. Crappy Dad looked at it all and told Uncle Crappy there would be tons left over. Yeah, he ended up with enough meat for a sandwich of each. We love our barbecue!

We are thankful to have excellent barbecue options in Pittsburgh; I think City holds up to any of them.

The vinegar-based cole slaw, however, was not a favorite of the crowd and we ended up bring a whole quart back to Pittsburgh, where we plan to make grilled Rachel sandwiches for dinner Tuesday night (Thanks to my illness, we waited until Wednesday night. Totally worth the wait, by the way). Since no one cooked this weekend, and grilled Rachels are easy to make on a Coleman griddle at, say, a tailgate, here is the recipe:

Grilled Rachels, aka the Roasted Turkey Reuben

  • Use either deli turkey or leftover roasted turkey, say after Thanksgiving
  • Deli or marble rye bread, although Martha Stewart recommends sourdough (Martha Stewart would be wrong about that one.)
  • Butter or margarine
  • Coleslaw, whatever kind you like — creamy or vinegar-based (But the vinegar-based one we had was excellent.)
  • Thinly sliced Swiss cheese
  • Russian or Thousand Island dressing

Butter one or both sides of each slice of bread. You pick how much butter you want. Heat frying pan or griddle, like you would for making grilled cheese sandwiches. Spread schmear of dressing on one or both slices of bread. Put one slice butter-side down, on griddle or pan, layering Swiss cheese, turkey and cole slaw on slice. Top with other slice of bread, butter side out, and grill until cheese is melty and the bread is as toasted as you like. Avoid burning bread and feel free to mush down on sandwich with a spatula or to use one of those weights used to make bacon cook flat. You could also use a panni or George Foreman grill. Cut in half and serve with additional dressing if you like extra (and I like extra!)

Deeeelicious.

We also had Suzanne’s cheese dip, potato chips and, this week’s bonus recipe, pumpkin roll.

Easy Pumpkin Roll

  • 3 eggs or 3/4 cup egg substitute
  • 3/4 cup canned pumpkin (not the pumpkin pie mix stuff)
  • 1 cup boxed spice cake mix (preferably a kind with pudding or that says super moist)
  • powdered sugar
  • 1 can creamy style cream cheese frosting at room temp or little warmer

In a medium bowl, beat the eggs with a mixer on high until they are thick and yellow – about 2 minutes (or just shake the container of egg substitute really well). Mix in the pumpkin. Mix in the cake mix.

Spread in a 10 x 15″ jelly roll pan lined with greased wax paper or foil. Bake for about 10 minutes at 375.

Remove from the oven and turn out onto a cotton kitchen , not terry cloth, towel well dusted with powdered sugar. Roll the cake up in the towel and let it cool on a wire rack for around 1/2 hour with seam down. Unroll and spread with the cream cheese frosting. Roll it back up without the kitchen towel this time. Sprinkle with more powdered sugar, roll in plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator. Chilling helps to keep the roll shape.

Or you can make your own cream cheese spread:

  • 1 (8-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
  • 1/3 cup real butter, softened
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Blend cream cheese and butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy; add remaining powdered sugar and vanilla, blending well.

So here comes University of Alabama-Birmingham at noon on Saturday. Uncle Crappy and I are going camping and leaving Crappy Dad in charge of tailgate. Will report back on the game and the food next week. Until then — Go Buckeyes! P.S. — I hope we learned how to tackle during the week! (Yes, that would be good.)

12
Sep
12

bureaucracy.

By Uncle Crappy 1 Comment
Categories: Recap
Tags: ,

The Ohio State University is big.

More than 64,000 students, if you’re counting all campuses. And nearly 42,000 employees.

As is the case with any organization of its size, The Ohio State University can be a maddening, frustrating place. Trying to get answers — or even just finding the person to whom the questions should be asked — can feel like an impossible chore.

What we encountered in 2010 and 2011 as we tried to figure out where we were parking for the season is a good example. Call one person, get one answer. Hear another answer from a different office. Get a third answer from one of the people working the lot.

Baffling.

But sometimes, it pays to ask.

I have two examples. During the first game, I was dismayed to hear that the OSUMB’s spot in the South Stands had been mic’ed, and was being played over the stadium’s shiny new PA system. In some parts of the stadium, it sounded fine; in 14C, the delay made it sound awful. We heard everything twice, and it pretty much made the music unbearable to listen to.

Last week, I sent an email to a whole bunch of people: Gordon Gee, Gene Smith, the folks who manage game day operations in the stadium, the band’s director. I griped about the amplification and asked for something to change.

It took Jon Waters, the interim director of the Ohio State University Marching Band, to answer. He said amplification of the band had been a goal of his and Gene Smith’s coming into the season, but added right off the bat that he was aware there were some problems on Week One. He also made a good point — there is no real way to test the sound without a stadium full of people, so it might take some time to work out the issues.

Because he took a couple minutes to respond, I felt better about the problem. And, true to his word, the sound was much better last week.

I have another example.

As I said last week, our new parking spot is pretty much perfect. Close to the stadium, shade or sun to suit the weather, easy parking for everyone else and plenty of, uh, facilities nearby.

My father, who has a legitimate reason to hold a disabled parking hang-tag, made a good point, though; for him, it took a decent walk –and for him, an uncomfortable one — to get to the nearest porta-john or to the indoor plumbing in the library. And, he reasoned, wouldn’t it make sense to have a porta-john available to patrons who are parking in handicapped lot.

Late in the week, Crappydad asked Ethel, who works for the university, for help in figuring out who should field a question about getting our own porta-potty. Ethel came through, and after a quick exchange of emails, we had been promised that a porta-john would be waiting for us Saturday morning (and it was actually in place on Friday night, as the Coochie Doctor confirmed during a quick trip through campus).

And there you are, boys and girls. Ethel, my father, and the one thing we were lacking to be able to call our new tailgating home truly perfect. We call him John.

And when you’re faced with the daunting task of figuring out how to approach a gigantic organization, remember this: It never hurts to just ask.

06
Sep
12

anxiety unfounded.

By Uncle Crappy 1 Comment
Categories: Football, Recap and Yelling and Screaming
Tags: ,

All three of us in the truck were a little anxious when we approached campus around 7:30 Saturday morning. We had settled on giving the lot behind Campbell Hall a try with the 12th and Cannon lots as our rather unpleasant backup option.

We cruised past our old space — or, rather, spaces — on Herrick Drive, approached the lot we saw the day before … and saw orange cones blocking the entrance.

Crap.

But. There were guys taking money for the adjacent parking garage at the end of the street that runs behind our desired home; we drove up and asked.

The answer? On football Saturdays, the lot we scoped out was a public disability lot. All you needed to park there was a handicapped hang-tag and fifteen American dollars.

And we had both.

It’s possible that I did a jumping happy dance after I parked the truck in the corner space, under a broad tree and next to a wide expanse of grass. I might have done that again when Mrs. Crappy wandered two blocks away — a short stroll past Mirror Lake — and found the William Oxley Thompson Library, with a coffee shop and large, clean restrooms. In a library. Which will always be open. As in, never closed. And then I might have danced a third time, when Bud asked and was told that Neil Avenue Parking Garage, just next door, was also public, save for spaces reserved for media. No more walks from 12th and Cannon lots for our fellow Killer Nuts Tailgaters.

 

It’s all right there. It’s all available to all of us, with only the possible hindrance of making sure we’re there early enough to get the spaces we want.

To summarize: We’re set, boys and girls. Unless the OSU Medical Center decides to swallow another chunk of campus, our parking worries are over.

***

Toward the end of the first quarter, there might have been a little anxiety about the football as well. Two breakdowns in pass coverage had given Miami two long gains; decent defensive recoveries — along with a missed field goal and a dropped pass or two — kept the Redhawks Redskins from building the 14-0 lead they probably deserved.

But the defense wasn’t the problem. It was the offense — the power spread we’ve all been dreaming about — that was. For the game’s first 15 minutes, it felt a lot like 2011. Running backs going nowhere. Braxton Miller scrambling. And nothing that resembled a drive, because there were no first downs. Ohio State finally started to move the ball towards the end of the quarter, and just a couple minutes into the second, the Buckeyes broke the ice in spectacular fashion.

And, really, that’s when the game was over. Miami quarterback Zac Dysert is a good one, and he rolled up 313 passing yards on the day — but got just one touchdown to show for it. After taking the first quarter off, Ohio State’s offense had a 500-yard day, and Braxton racked up Nintendo numbers: 161 yards rushing, with one touchdown; 14 of 24 yards passing for 207 yards and two touchdowns. We got a decent look at how the offense is going to work, as well. Miller’s targets were everywhere — receivers, tight ends, backs — and most of the passes were short routes, with potential for long gains after the catch. And especially after Miller’s 65-yard touchdown run at the start of the second half, play-action off an option look is going to be a killer play as the season progresses.

We started Saturday — both the tailgate and the game — wondering what was to come. By the time we were headed home in the afternoon, we had a much better idea.

30
May
12

happy anniversary.

By Uncle Crappy 1 Comment
Categories: Recap
Tags:

 

Can we finally be done with this? Please?

« Previous Entries

2013 schedule

Aug. 31: Buffalo
Sept. 7: San Diego State
Sept. 14: at California
Sept. 21: Florida A&M
Sept. 28: Wisconsin, 8 p.m.
Oct. 5: at Northwestern, 8 p.m.
Oct. 19: Iowa
Oct. 26: Penn State, 8 p.m.
Nov. 2: at Purdue
Nov. 23: Indiana
Nov. 30: at Team Up North

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