It’s a tradition with a history nearly as long and illustrious as the Killer Nuts Tailgate parties themselves: Fred makes sausage for the Michigan game.

This tradition has its roots way back when Fred, then a vegetarian, ate a sample of prosciutto while on a flight to Italy. He didn’t just fall of the vegetarian wagon — he jumped off, slashed the wagon’s tires, set the whole thing ablaze and used the flames to  sear a rare 32-ounce porterhouse.

Oh, and he also started making his own sausage. I don’t remember which Michigan game it was when the sausage first appeared, but I know it was a win, and I remember declaring that Fred had to make sausage for the the Michigan tailgate from that point forward until the end of time.

Time has not yet ended, and we’re just a couple weeks away from the Michigan game, so Fred is about ready to make this year’s batch — and that’s where he needs our help. He’s set on making two varieties — a maple breakfast sausage, which has become something of a staple, and a hot Italian sausage, using some of the chilies Mrs. Crappy and I grew this summer. He wants to make two more varieties, but he is unsure which to choose.

And that means it’s time for a poll.

Let’s pretend we live in Florida — vote twice, once for each of these choices that sounds the best for you. We’ll close the poll at midnight Thursday so Fred can have his list ready for a visit to the butcher on Friday.

I asked Fred for brief descriptions of our choices. Here’s what he came up with:

  • Vienna – the little wiener sausages that you can eat by the handful; includes all the major meat groups (beef, pork, veal – yes, veal)
  • Mustardy Beef – this would be our basic beef link.  Would it be a classic or would it be boring?
  • Swedish Potato – beef,  pork butt, pork fat, potatoes.  I will cook these in low-fat chicken broth and they should taste great with any diet soft drink.
  • Cajun Boudin Blanc – considered a “religion” in SW Louisiana.  Pork + pork + pork fat + SPICES + rice + accordion & fiddle music while cooking.
  • Turkey/Cranberry/Nut – what you will have eaten the 2 previous days, but in tubular form.

I can’t see how we can go wrong. Make yer choices people, and Fred will work his magic.

8 Responses to “meat!”

  1. 1 James Bond Shaken-Not-Stirred
    November 15, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    How fitting that we should be eating “weenie-like” foods in honor of the wolves.

  2. November 15, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    there are an odd number of votes?

    • November 17, 2010 at 5:16 pm

      I’ve contacted the Supreme Court of the United States about this problem; if the court orders a full recount, we might have our election certified in time for the Michigan game in 2013.

  3. November 17, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    For the record, that was Fred logged in as me (Ethel/momsbrain).

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2017 schedule

Aug. 31: vs. at Indiana, 8 p.m.
Sept. 9: Oklahoma, 7:30 p.m.
Sept. 16: Army, 4:30 p.m.
Sept. 23: UNLV
Sept. 30: at Rutgers
Oct. 4: at Maryland
Oct. 7: Maryland
Oct. 14: at Nebraska
Oct. 28: Penn State, 3:30 p.m.
Nov. 4: at Iowa
Nov. 11: Michigan State
Nov. 18: Illinois
Nov. 22: Indiana
Nov. 25: at Team Up North, noon
Dec. 2: B1G Championship, 8 p.m.

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