Killer Nuts Tailgating

It’s a tradition with a history nearly as long and illustrious as the Killer Nuts Tailgate parties themselves: Fred makes sausage for the Michigan game.

This tradition has its roots way back when Fred, then a vegetarian, ate a sample of prosciutto while on a flight to Italy. He didn’t just fall of the vegetarian wagon — he jumped off, slashed the wagon’s tires, set the whole thing ablaze and used the flames to  sear a rare 32-ounce porterhouse.

Oh, and he also started making his own sausage. I don’t remember which Michigan game it was when the sausage first appeared, but I know it was a win, and I remember declaring that Fred had to make sausage for the the Michigan tailgate from that point forward until the end of time.

Time has not yet ended, and we’re just a couple weeks away from the Michigan game, so Fred is about ready to make this year’s batch — and that’s where he needs our help. He’s set on making two varieties — a maple breakfast sausage, which has become something of a staple, and a hot Italian sausage, using some of the chilies Mrs. Crappy and I grew this summer. He wants to make two more varieties, but he is unsure which to choose.

And that means it’s time for a poll.

Let’s pretend we live in Florida — vote twice, once for each of these choices that sounds the best for you. We’ll close the poll at midnight Thursday so Fred can have his list ready for a visit to the butcher on Friday.

I asked Fred for brief descriptions of our choices. Here’s what he came up with:

• Vienna – the little wiener sausages that you can eat by the handful; includes all the major meat groups (beef, pork, veal – yes, veal)
• Mustardy Beef – this would be our basic beef link.  Would it be a classic or would it be boring?
• Swedish Potato – beef,  pork butt, pork fat, potatoes.  I will cook these in low-fat chicken broth and they should taste great with any diet soft drink.
• Cajun Boudin Blanc – considered a “religion” in SW Louisiana.  Pork + pork + pork fat + SPICES + rice + accordion & fiddle music while cooking.
• Turkey/Cranberry/Nut – what you will have eaten the 2 previous days, but in tubular form.

I can’t see how we can go wrong. Make yer choices people, and Fred will work his magic.