Please don’t tell me I need to explain this.
Author Archive for Uncle Crappy
28
Oct
10
this is a test.
20
Oct
10
the required uniform.
We have shirts.
Thanks to the nice people at Spreadshirt, a Pittsburgh company that gives any idiot — and by that, I mean me — the opportunity to open up a small T-shirt shop, we have the first editions of Killer Nuts Tailgating shirts, available to anyone who wants them. Take a look:
For the ladies, in red, dark gray or black.
And for the guys, in red, light gray or black.
They’re inexpensive at $9.90 a pop, and Spreadshirt generally does a good job of getting them to you a few days. So if you order now, you’ll have yours by the Penn State game.
If you think we should add kids’ sizes or if you have an idea for another text-based design, just let me know. We’ll make it happen.
17
Oct
10
polls are dumb.
The folks in Madison can’t be especially happy with the Harris Poll voters or the coaches who contribute to the USA Today poll; even after last night’s win, Ohio State (10) is ranked a slot higher than the Badgers (11). I’m as much of a homer as you’ll ever find, but even I know that’s not right.
16
Oct
10
gametime.
Y’all ready?
11
Oct
10
they also kick puppies.
I haven’t had many terrible experiences when I’ve traveled with Ohio State — I’ve had beer cans thrown at me in Michigan Stadium, and I know from a game at Purdue that marshmallows stuffed with pennies hurt more than you might imagine, but overall I can’t report anything overwhelmingly negative.
My folks, on the other hand, have been to games at nearly every Big Ten stadium — as well as a few outside the conference — and on a couple of occasions, they’ve reported some ugly days. I hope they can weigh in if I’m off-base here, but my recollection is that outside of a trip to Morgantown, their worst night would have been the one they spent in Madison, I think in 2003.
Playing Wisconsin on the road at any time of day is tough. The home team is usually pretty good, the fans are well-lubricated and the weather up north — even further up north than the home of the Team Up North — can be dicey as you get deeper into the season.
That’s sort of what mom and dad ran into on their trip up there — a cold, rainy night; a group of fans that had extra time for lubrication; and, if I’m remembering the year correctly, a Badger team that was bent on ending Ohio State’s winning streak that extended to the start of the previous season. There were also reports of freshman sacrifice, beer bongs extending from the top deck of Camp Randall Stadium and an uncomfortable amount of attention towards opposing fans, most of whom were huddled together to protect themselves from the pitchforks, torches and driving, icy rain.
The Badgers are something of a mystery this season; they looked a lot better on paper than they appear to be. But they will be up for a visit from the No. 1 team in the country, as will the fans that make Camp Randall the, uh, experience that it is.
And that forecast of clear skies and game-time temps in the 50s? I’m not buying that either.
10
Oct
10
appreciation.
Killer Nuts Tailgating would like to offer our sincerest and heartfelt thanks to Carolina Boy, for his significant contribution on Saturday to what promises to be a very interesting season.
03
Oct
10
my bad.
Ohio State’s rough outing on Saturday cannot be blamed on windy weather in Chambana, Terrelle Pryor’s injury or a defense that might not have been paying attention during the first half.
When we packed up for our mini tailgate at Saturday’s Hiram-Carnegie Mellon game — which I will tell you about tomorrow — I brought my football along — but I never threw it with anyone. This is an important part of my pregame rituals and … I let the team down.
We did remember the toast, though. You think I’d forget something that important?
28
Sep
10
beating the eagles.
That’s us, on the left. The other folks are regulars in our lot, friends we’ve seen every home Saturday for years.
We joked a lot on Saturday about how the person who is in the cooking pictures gets credit for making the food. Wooo, that’s me!
And serving! Double credit!
OK, the real credit goes to Pat, who actually made the chili. On Saturday, all I did was the heating.
One of the cool things about this weekend: our guests, my cousin John and his girlfriend Anita, who was experiencing a Midwestern football Saturday for the first time.
Another cool thing: vodka-soaked gummy bears, thanks to Fred.
Aren’t they adorable?
27
Sep
10
breakfast hash.
One of the primary things I wanted to accomplish with KNT was to explain to you exactly how well we eat on Saturday mornings in the parking lot — and how we get there. Crappydad is the first to indulge me, but I hope to offer a more in-depth look at the recipes that drive our parties in the future.
Crappydad working his magic. (Photo by Ethel.)
It was one of the great pleasures of my childhood — those nights when mom wasn’t home for dinner and we had a leftover beef roast of some kind in the fridge, and I knew chances were good that dad would be making hash for dinner.
Part of the reason this was so cool was because it was something generally reserved for the two of us; it always felt a little like we were sort of misbehaving after being left at home without supervision.
And the other part? The hash — a skillet full of meat, eggs, cheese, potatoes and onion — was awfully good.
Crappydad recreated that recipe for the OU game, and I’m still more upset about missing that than missing the battle of the mascots before the game. Getting recipes from my father can be a challenge, because there’s never anything actually written down. But in this case, CD put together a pretty thorough set of instructions, should you want to try this on your own.
And believe me, you do. Dad?
I planned this amount for around 10 people (assuming 5 men/5 women). Two packages Bob Evans home fries. I bought about 3 pounds of what Giant Eagle calls “skillet steaks” and nuked them until they were about medium rare. They were then cut into about 1/2 inch cubes and refrigerated until Saturday morning. At the tailgate, the potatoes and a half-stick of margerine for each bag went in the skillets first, for about 8-10 minutes. Then the meat and a couple of chopped, medium-sized yellow onions (I like strong onion taste, not sweet). This cooked for another 10 or so minutes, occasionally turning. Then I turned the heat up and (assisted by Bill Joerg and Dick Leiss) added about 18 eggs, breaking the yolks as they went into the pans. Then a little salt and pepper, turning a few times until the yolks were cooked fairly hard. Serve with salt/pepper to taste. I also like Frank’s Hot Sauce and some ketchup on top. Yum!
27
Sep
10
three-way.
Side note: I am so making Cincinnati chili for a tailgate party later this year.
Along the way to a 73-20 win over Eastern Michigan, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor accomplished something that hasn’t been done very often — he scored three ways, with a rushing touchdown, a passing touchdown (several, actually) and a pass reception for a touchdown.
Crappydad and I were talking about this after the game Saturday; we both wondered whether Prior might have accomplished the same thing in the Fiesta Bowl game against Texas a couple years ago, but I didn’t think he had.
Fortunately, the Dispatch’s Ken Gordon got help from the university in tracking down the answers. You’ll find a post about all the times a Buckeye has scored three different ways here, but the short answer to the run/pass/catch question is this: Gerald Krall did it in 1948 against Illinois, and Keith Byars did it in 1984 against Iowa.
And the most recent instance of an Ohio State player scoring three ways in a game comes with some Crappy Family trivia attached. In the 2004 game against Michigan State in East Lansing, Ted Ginn ran for a score, caught a touchdown pass and returned a punt for a TD in a pretty tight game that Mrs. Crappy and I watched at Buffalo Blues in Shadyside. But as exciting as that was, the capper was seeing Crappydad on TV near the end of the broadcast, standing on the top row in one of the end zones and waving that little Ohio State flag he likes sneaking in to road games.
That was a score for us.
Killer Nuts Tailgating 