Posts Tagged ‘crappydad


tastes great. less filling.

I have this conversation with my Ohio Stadium seatmates all the time — when you have a freshman quarterback, you’re going to have to put up with some ugly football along with the good stuff.

We’ve seen a bunch of ugly football this season. But if anyone had any doubts about Braxton Miller, Saturday’s game against Wisconsin should come as a great relief.

See this:

And, of course, this:

I remember screaming after the first play — my voice is still sitting somewhere near my seat in 14C, by the way — but after the second, my dad and I just sort of looked at each other while bedlam erupted around us.

Stunned. And overjoyed.

Dad’s seen more than his fair share of Ohio State football over the years, and he couldn’t come up with a game that finished the way that one did. We both thought of this play…

…but that came at the start of the fourth quarter, and we ended up scoring two more touchdowns before the game ended to turn what had been a tight game into a beating.

I’m stuck too. I’ve seen some close ones, but to win that way — a crazy scramble, a long touchdown pass, 30 seconds left in the game? Maybe the final drive at Michigan in 2005? I don’t know. I can’t think of anything else that compares.

So when the offense is plodding against Indiana or Purdue in the next couple of weeks, remember these plays. Don’t dwell on the bad stuff. Think about potential. We saw it last night. We’ll see it for four more games this year. And for at least a couple years after that.


breakfast hash.

One of the primary things I wanted to accomplish with KNT was to explain to you exactly how well we eat on Saturday mornings in the parking lot — and how we get there. Crappydad is the first to indulge me, but I hope to offer a more in-depth look at the recipes that drive our parties in the future.

Crappydad working his magic. (Photo by Ethel.)

It was one of the great pleasures of my childhood — those nights when mom wasn’t home for dinner and we had a leftover beef roast of some kind in the fridge, and I knew chances were good that dad would be making hash for dinner.

Part of the reason this was so cool was because it was something generally reserved for the two of us; it always felt a little like we were sort of misbehaving after being left at home without supervision.

And the other part? The hash — a skillet full of meat, eggs, cheese, potatoes and onion — was awfully good.

Crappydad recreated that recipe for the OU game, and I’m still more upset about missing that than missing the battle of the mascots before the game. Getting recipes from my father can be a challenge, because there’s never anything actually written down. But in this case, CD put together a pretty thorough set of instructions, should you want to try this on your own.

And believe me, you do. Dad?

I planned this amount for around 10 people (assuming 5 men/5 women).  Two packages Bob Evans home fries.  I bought about 3 pounds of what Giant Eagle calls “skillet steaks” and nuked them until they were about medium rare.  They were then cut into about 1/2 inch cubes and refrigerated until Saturday morning.  At the tailgate, the potatoes and a half-stick of margerine for each bag went in the skillets first, for about 8-10 minutes.  Then the meat and a couple of chopped, medium-sized yellow onions (I like strong onion taste, not sweet).  This cooked for another 10 or so minutes, occasionally turning.  Then I turned the heat up and (assisted by Bill Joerg and Dick Leiss) added about 18 eggs, breaking the yolks as they went into the pans.  Then a little salt and pepper, turning a few times until the yolks were cooked fairly hard.  Serve with salt/pepper to taste.  I also like Frank’s Hot Sauce and some ketchup on top.  Yum!



Side note: I am so making Cincinnati chili for a tailgate party later this year.

Along the way to a 73-20 win over Eastern Michigan, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor accomplished something that hasn’t been done very often — he scored three ways, with a rushing touchdown, a passing touchdown (several, actually) and a pass reception for a touchdown.

Crappydad and I were talking about this after the game Saturday; we both wondered whether Prior might have accomplished the same thing in the Fiesta Bowl game against Texas a couple years ago, but I didn’t think he had.

Fortunately, the Dispatch’s Ken Gordon got help from the university in tracking down the answers. You’ll find a post about all the times a Buckeye has scored three different ways here, but the short answer to the run/pass/catch question is this: Gerald Krall did it in 1948 against Illinois, and Keith Byars did it in 1984 against Iowa.

And the most recent instance of an Ohio State player scoring three ways in a game comes with some Crappy Family trivia attached. In the 2004 game against Michigan State in East Lansing, Ted Ginn ran for a score, caught a touchdown pass and returned a punt for a TD in a pretty tight game that Mrs. Crappy and I watched at Buffalo Blues in Shadyside. But as exciting as that was, the capper was seeing Crappydad on TV near the end of the broadcast, standing on the top row in one of the end zones and waving that little Ohio State flag he likes sneaking in to road games.

That was a score for us.


a little help from our friends.

The freaking wackos will be ready for you, Randy.

Bud gets partial credit for this, as he just sent me an email with the link to the I don’t want to give this more intro than it needs, but here’s the gist: Apparently Randy Shannon, the U’s head coach, recently made the following remarks about Saturday’s game:

You see a lot of traditions in small towns and little cities like Columbus. But the guys (his players) aren’t enamored with it because of what we see when we go out. You may see an Alex Rodriguez, a Wayans brother or Dwayne Wade. Those are big name guys.

Yeah, OK, coach.

Among the responses on the OZone’s message boards was this one, from a purported Michigan fan named Thom Dartt:

Randy Shannon does what people who don’t understand Ohio State football and its fans tend to do: Underestimate them and RUN THEIR MOUTHS. Shannon, who obviously has his Doctorate in Geography, referred to Columbus as a ‘small town.’

Pssssst! Randy! Over here! Yeah, um Miami has a population of about 362,000. Mmmm hmmm, and Columbus has a population of about 710,000. That’s TWICE the size of LITTLE Miami. In fact, Miami would be the 4th largest city in Ohio, JUST ahead of Toledo and Dayton.

Then he says his team sees ‘stars all the time’ like THE WAYANS BROTHERS. Hang on just a second. I have to check my definition of ‘star’/’celebrity.’ Yep, I thought so. NONE of the Wayans brothers, sisters, parents or grandparents are stars or celebrities, unless they were at the Bellbrook festival. And even then…

See, what this idiot fails to realize is that this game is about the Ohio State fans. None of the players even remember 2002. Few, if any of Miami’s coaches, were on their staff in 2002. Some of Ohio State’s were.

Ah, but the fans were all there THEN and they’re all here NOW. And the Scarlet and Gray legions have had to hear over and over and over and over how they got lucky to win the Fiesta Bowl, that Miami REALLY won that game, that Miami was robbed…

Guilty. I was one of the ones that said they were lucky. After further review, Ohio State out-played Miami.

Anyway, Ohio State fans have been seething about those comments and couldn’t wait for this game. Nope, it’s not a ‘rematch,’ but to Ohio State’s fans this means A LOT!

So, Randy, as a Michigan fan, whom the Buckeye faithful HATE, let me help you to understand what you’ll face on Saturday: 100,000+ FREAKING WACKOS who have had time to let that hate and anger for that stupid U build for nearly eight years (And they WON! Can you imagine if they had lost on that call???), who have an anger management issue with people who talk smack about their team/town, who will have several hours to enjoy a few adult beverages, and who want to win every game like their lives depend on it.

They will yell incessantly, cheer every one of their good plays (followed by the chords of various Buckeye songs after those plays), REALLY cheer every one of your bad plays, and never sit down. Oh, and unlike the LITTLE stadiums you play in, this one is BIG and it will be FULL, and IT WILL BE LOUD.

See, Randy, this isn’t Boston College, North Carolina or even Florida State you’re playing. Those LIBRARIES would be sweet compared to the insane asylum that awaits your team on Saturday. Trust me. I’ve been there five times for Michigan games, and several more for other games.

You made a mistake and the Buckeye fans do NOT forgive.

Oh, and one other trivial matter: YOU WILL LOSE. Badly.

Thanks, Thom. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Love, one of the Freaking Wackos in 14C.



Chicago Sun-Times writer Herb Gould makes his prediction for the season (via an email from Bud):

The Buckeyes will defeat Iowa, Alabama, the New England Patriots, Manchester United, the Taliban and the Klingons and reach their goal of being dominant in the universe.

We like this. With Pryor as goalkeeper and Boom Herron taking direct snaps to run the offense, Ohio State will beat Man U 37-2.


down to business.

This is a tailgating blog. So let’s talk about some tailgating.

We’re a couple days away from the first party of the season, and this one will be a little different:

  • Night game. Not terribly unusual, but a number of other factors make the Marshall game unique.
  • Weeknight game. This doesn’t happen very often. As in, this has happened only once before, when Ohio State hosted Wyoming in a Thursday night game — also a season opener — a few years back.
  • Weeknight traffic. Football parking doesn’t open until 3 p.m., so we can only hope that the folks who actually have to work at the university heed the warnings to head out early or work from home. OSU has said that some of the parking pass lots — one of which we’ve used for 10 years — could still have cars of university employees in them, which would limit the spaces available for us football types.
  • Parking, Part II. This has less to do with the weeknight thing, although it will help make Thursday’s tailgate interesting. We’ve been hearing stuff about our lot being unavailable for football parking this year, and apparently, that’s going to be an issue. Bud and Pat have been scouting for a while — and hadn’t noticed anything different — but Ethel sent this message today:

I have been looking and looking at the football parking info trying to figure out the situation in our lot. I just came across this: “Due to construction, there will be no parking in the South Lincoln and Parks Hall lots.” Parks Hall – that is us. I don’t know if they bothered to inform you. Have you given thought to another location? I don’t know how those season passes work – ie if they mandate where you park based on the type of pass you get.

Ouch. That doesn’t sound good. I did notice that the map run in the Dispatch over the weekend still listed one of the lots directly south of our regular spot as a permit lot, so I’m hopeful we’ll still find something close. There’s little use in worrying about it on Thursday, because that’s a whole different situation, but we’ll see what happens for the rest of the season.

And then we have food. We occasionally try to come up with main dishes that involve eating the other team’s mascot; this was especially easy when we played a home-and-home against Texas a few years ago. Of course, Marshall’s official mascot is the Thundering Herd, and I have no idea what that means in terms of food. But if you take a look at the logo, you’ll notice a prominent bison head — which, to me, is pretty much the tastiest beef you’ll ever put in your mouth.

We generally pride ourselves on cooking for these things, but in this case — time limitations, potential parking issues and a relatively short time in the lot — we’re going to buy instead. Here’s what Bud suggested:

Hey KNTGers:  Cocktails /appetizers are from 3:30 until dinner (about 5:30 or so)  Here’s what everyone can bring…us: beef brisket/sauce;  Fred and Ethel:  baked beans (ok cold);  Mary K:  appetizers;  Coochie Doctor/Matlock:  green salad;  Uncle Crappy:  lotsa beer;  Juan:  HB buns (probably need 18 to be safe) and potato chips (couple of bags);  JB/Suz;  dessert (and maybe some beer if you want).  I’ll also be bringing some manhattans and cosmos.  LETS GO BUCKS!

I should specify: the meat — brisket, in this case — will come from City Barbeque, the excellent local chain in Columbus. We seem to settle on something from City about once a season, and it doesn’t feel much like we’re settling for anything.

That’s the plan, boys and girls. Once we figure out the parking thing, we’re going to eat and drink well, and then head inside for the first game of the year. I’ll let you know how the preparations are going on Thursday morning, and I think you can expect an update from the lot before we wrap it up. See yinz in Columbus.

2017 schedule

Aug. 31: vs. at Indiana, 8 p.m.
Sept. 9: Oklahoma, 7:30 p.m.
Sept. 16: Army, 4:30 p.m.
Sept. 23: UNLV
Sept. 30: at Rutgers
Oct. 4: at Maryland
Oct. 7: Maryland
Oct. 14: at Nebraska
Oct. 28: Penn State, 3:30 p.m.
Nov. 4: at Iowa
Nov. 11: Michigan State
Nov. 18: Illinois
Nov. 22: Indiana
Nov. 25: at Team Up North, noon
Dec. 2: B1G Championship, 8 p.m.

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